3 Types Of Psychological Poison In The House
A healthy home is perhaps one of the most important factors in making us psychologically strong. The opposite also happens: a sick home makes us more vulnerable and prone to illness, both of the body and the mind. But there are also different kinds of psychological poisons in the house.
The word home does not only refer to the typical family, with a father, mother, couple of children and a dog. Our home is where we live and we can share it with siblings, friends, parents, or even a pet and occasional guests.
The quality of the tapes made in that house are key to our emotional health. Where there is cohabitation, there is also conflict. But above all, at home, we should not open the door to behavior that can turn into true psychological poison. We’ll highlight three such toxic behaviors that should never invade our homes and certainly shouldn’t feel at home.
Psychological Poison #1: Yelling Makes the House Hell
The bad thing about yelling is that it starts out as unusual, but the tolerance for it becomes more flexible and eventually it becomes a habit. Even more so if someone reinforces it. It takes place without you realizing it. Today you’re screaming because it frustrates you that they don’t understand what you’re saying and tomorrow you’re screaming because they understood you too well, or because no one will listen if you don’t scream (or so you think).
In the act of screaming, which looks more annoying than offensive, a poisonous seed begins to grow: the seed of violence. Yelling becomes a normal conflict in a psychologically damaging situation. It is an act that tries to show power. A way to spoil the true meaning of words.
Talking softly can also turn into a great habit. Not yelling and not letting them yell at you gives strength to your cohabitation and helps you increase your self-confidence, respect and self-control. ‘ We don’t shout here’ should be a basic rule in every household.
Psychological poison #2: lack of boundaries
A big part of healthy cohabitation is knowing how to respect other people’s space. When we say ‘space’ we are not just talking about physical places that belong to someone, but it starts with that.
There must be full respect for other people’s belongings and for the places that are part of their personal environment. Likewise, it is important for each person to clearly define these boundaries and make sure that everyone knows them. There may be limits that can and should be negotiated: now is the right time to do so. Everyone should have a personal space and be able to be independent in it, trusting that no one will cross this boundary.
By respecting physical places, we also learn how to respect other people’s privacy. No matter how much you live with others, everyone has their own life. And we should only enter the psychological space of other people if they invite us or if they give us permission to do so. Or, objectively speaking, if that privacy is somehow related to someone else. We all have the right to our silences, our secrets, and our beliefs.
Psychological Poison #3: Lack of Balance in Responsibilities
Every home requires a series of tasks that are not very satisfying but necessary to perform, and these are, of course, household chores. The house uses different mechanisms for functionality and maintenance. The electricity, water supply, household appliances, etc. should all work. We have to clean and maintain our physical places and all their parts.
Living together is much healthier when we agree on how to divide the tasks. Sometimes it is impossible to achieve a fair organization of these tasks, but it is a task that must be accomplished. And that’s exactly what concordances are for, to share the duties an owner needs fairly. More importantly, however, is to actually execute them.
It is essential that every member of the house has a responsibility on this subject. This is a condition that promotes solidarity, cooperation and respect. It makes everyone’s life easier and gives everyone a sense of value. It also reinforces the idea that within each collective there are tasks that need to be done, for everyone’s own interest and for the common good.
People sometimes compare the house to a temple and they don’t just do that. If we honor it, it will surely become a source of inspiration that will extend to all the other social spaces we are a part of. However, if we neglect or harm it, it may become the first link in a long chain of personal disasters.
