4 Ways You Are Creating A Tyrant At Home

Even though it is hard to believe for us, it is becoming more and more common to encounter a child tyrant. There are more and more parents who are desperate because of their children’s behavior and need professional help. By child tyrants we mean the children who enforce their laws, who rule over their parents when they want to, and whose temperamental tantrums are exhausting for everyone who experiences them.

A child tyrant believes he has the right to manage his family according to his own desires and to stage a scene and show unwise anger if his expectations are not met. He is unable to accommodate daily frustrations much less put himself in his parents’ shoes and this is why he behaves so badly towards them and harms them for the sole purpose of being him Give meaning.

Parents feel an obligation to comply with their child’s demands in order to avoid a tantrum that will occur if the child feels that his needs and whims are not being met immediately. In really extreme cases, the child physically attacks the parents.

According to studies  , it seems that genetic factors have some influence and that some children are more prone to be aggressive than others. It has also been proven that child tyrants are more common in middle-class and upper-class families and that it is more common among boys than girls, even though this gap is narrowing.

It seems that education plays a key factor in the development of the child who ends up acting like a tyrant towards his parents. It is said that the more permissive and overprotective parents in particular are more likely to raise their children in a certain way, causing them to display patterns of behavior such as those described above.

The parenting aspects of creating a tyrant

If parenting has a strong influence on how the child will behave, it  is necessary for the parents to learn how best to raise their children. They should definitely try to avoid certain patterns, which will most likely be well-intentioned, but which will ultimately backfire in the long run.

1. Fulfill every child’s wish

If the child is given everything he asks for,  he will slowly but surely come to believe that he has the right to get everything he asks for immediately,  no matter what it is he asks for.

This is why, as they grow up with this idea and the day comes when someone says “no” to them when they want something, the child tyrant will feel so much anger that he will do anything to ensure that his expectations are met. as he always got his way before. The child  will eventually, through his anger, determine the will and authority of his parents because they feel intimidated.

2. Not allowing the child to get frustrated

Frustration is a normal and healthy emotion; it’s part of life. Not everything that we want to go a certain way will actually go that way. Sometimes life turns its back on us and we have to learn how to tolerate it.

Not knowing how to tolerate frustration leads to many emotional problems in both children and adults because, like it or not, life is not made for us and so we will regularly encounter obstacles.

If we don’t teach our children to accept frustration or if  we do all the work for them when problems arise,  we will create a child tyrant, unable to internalize the idea that the world doesn’t revolve around him.

3. Problem solving for the child

It is important for children to start solving their problems at an early age  , or with modest help. When we talk about problems, we naturally refer to the small setbacks that befit their age.

For example, if the child tells you to put his shoes on when he is old enough to do it himself and even knows how, don’t be tempted to help him or do it for him. Maybe it’s uncomfortable for him to put on his shoes himself and it’s easier to go to mom or dad, but that’s not the right way to do things.

The child must learn that life is not always comfortable and easy and that we must also learn to do things ourselves.

Because if he doesn’t learn  this, every time he encounters an obstacle in life, he won’t have the right tools to solve it,  because we never gave him the chance to develop this skill.

4. Teaching that problems can be solved through hostility

We cannot expect our child not to react in a hostile way if  we ourselves are the first to get angry when there are setbacks,  when we yell or speak aggressively.

We need to be aware that children imitate everything adults do, especially the things their parents or guardians do, so we need to be careful in how we behave.

Even if sometimes we’re really through it, we’re tired and feel like we’re going to explode and we can’t take it anymore, we can still do that and aggression certainly won’t help us solve any of it. That is why we must remain calm when there are setbacks, for the sake of yourself and your children.