5 Traits Of Emotionally Immature People

There are many myths about the issues of maturity and immaturity. People don’t want to be pigeonholed or labeled. Each of us is a melting pot in which different forms of consciousness are mixed together. We are ignorant and wise, childish and old, childish and conscientious. All at the same time, although depending on the moment one characteristic comes to the fore more than another.

Emotional immaturity can be defined as a state in which people have not given up their childhood desires or fantasies. Desires and fantasies that have to do with the world that revolves around them, or with reality that adapts to what they want. Likewise, emotional maturity can be defined as a state of strength and moderation that leads to realistic and balanced acts.

More than by an abstract definition, maturity or immaturity is revealed through behavioral characteristics. Here we list five traits that are typical of emotionally immature people.

1. Egocentrism

A big part of growing up for people is understanding the fact that the world doesn’t revolve around them. A baby doesn’t know that yet. That’s why he asks for food at two o’clock in the morning and doesn’t care if it affects his parents’ sleep. As he grows, he learns that it is not always possible to get everything he wants, and that he lives with other people who have different needs.

Growing up means escaping this egocentric prison. It means you lose the illusion you had as a baby: it is enough to ask to satisfy a need or desire. When we give up this fantasy little by little, we simultaneously become aware of an attractive possibility: the adventure of exploring the world of others. If all goes well, we learn to keep our self and reach the you.

2. Difficulty accepting appointments

An unambiguous sign of immaturity is having difficulty accepting agreements. A child finds it difficult to give up what he wants in the moment in order to achieve a greater goal in the long run. If we give him a candy and we promise him that if he doesn’t eat it right away, he’ll get another one later, the desire to eat the candy he has in his hand will win.

During adulthood one begins to understand that sacrifice and limitations are necessary to achieve certain things. And that if you intend to do something, or if you make a compromise with someone, this is not a limitation of your freedom, but a condition for functioning better and in the long term.

3. Tendency to blame others

Children assume that they are controlled by others who do not act arbitrarily. To a large extent they become so, while they are in a process of formation and insertion into the culture. While they are small, they think that a mistake automatically leads to guilt. They don’t care so much about the damage they’ve done, but they care about the punishment or sanction that can be imposed on them.

To grow is to leave this state of sweet irresponsibility. Growing up means understanding that we are the only ones responsible for what we do or don’t do. Learning to recognize mistakes and draw new lessons from them. Know how to repair the damage. Can say sorry.

4. Creating Dependency Bonds

For immature people, others are a means and not an end in themselves. So, as a resource they believe they are, they need them. They don’t need others because they love them, but they love others because they need them. Hence, they create bonds in which there is enormous dependence.

In order to establish connections based on freedom, there must be autonomy. However, immature people do not understand the concept of autonomy well. Sometimes they think that doing what they want comes from autonomous behavior. But when it comes to accepting the consequences of the actions, they need others to take responsibility.

5. Emotionally immature people are irresponsible with money

Impulsivity is one of the most striking features of immature people. Impulsivity that is reflected many times in the way they manage their assets such as money. Therefore, to satisfy their desires, and to do so directly, it is no problem to buy what they do not need, with money they do not have.

Sometimes they embark on incongruous financial adventures. They do not assess investments objectively and find it difficult to see themselves in the medium and long term. That is why they are often in debt, all just to satisfy impulses.

All these features of immaturity do not arise and are not maintained by people’s conscious decisions. They almost always follow voids or cracks that have arisen during upbringing. They can also be the result of unfortunate experiences that have hindered development. If you’re like that, or if you know someone like that, it’s not about correcting them. In reality, the most important thing is to become aware that promoting your own development can lead you to a better life.