I’m Not Always There For Everyone. I Too Need Myself Sometimes

Sometimes I am not there for others because I also need myself. I have to listen to myself, put the broken pieces back together and soften the sharp edges of my life. And needing yourself is not the same as being selfish.

So if I don’t respond or turn my phone off for a few hours or for a few days, it doesn’t mean I’m completely gone. It just means I’ve decided to go for a walk with myself. A walk I’ve neglected for a long time.

It’s funny how we often drop ourselves in the “spam” section. Most of the time we don’t even realize it. We relegate ourselves to the drawer of unresolved cases, to the last page of our diary, or to the little sticky notes that get lost in the clutter of our desks. There is always something more important.

We live in an incredibly demanding and competitive world. We all know that. We have so much to do. Our days are hectic and exhaust us. But that’s not all. Because we also have a constant and immediate form of communication within reach.

We live our lives on social media. We are always available. It seems like there’s always a message to answer, an email to check, or photos to ‘like’ – even if we don’t want to ‘like’ them at all.

It seems as if we can see everything except what is in front of us. Our tired eyes can read the needs of others, but are unable to decipher our own needs… Everything is blurry. In our hearts and minds everything is one big confusion. It does not feel right. But we don’t know what’s going on…

Without realizing it you have reached your limit

People need you. You know that. Every day you have to climb ten mountains. And it is also true that you manage to do this. But nobody gives you a medal for this. Hardly anyone appreciates your dedication or appreciates what you sacrifice for the people around you.

Little by little things lose their meaning and people lose their attraction. The music in the world disappears. Things no longer rhyme. The magic is also gone. You sink further and further under your own responsibilities, like a stone in a bottomless pit.

Being there every hour of the day and every day for everyone comes at a high price. Without you noticing, the cost is increasing. This type of stress can have serious consequences and even lead to depression:

• Exhaustion, an extreme form of fatigue that sometimes doesn’t improve with getting enough sleep.
• Headaches, migraines.
• Backache
• Bad digestion.
• A feeling of constant boredom. You lose almost all interest in life.
• Impatience and irritability.
• Frustration, cynicism, apathy, being constantly in a bad mood…

It may sound ironic. But living in an environment with an excess of stimuli and demands eventually makes us numb and numb. We become insensitive to our own needs, strangers to our own hearts. We are stranded on Circe’s island and have completely forgotten where our home is.

Today I am not here for others. Today I need myself

Say out loud “Now I’m not here for anyone else, I need myself.” That’s not selfish. You don’t hurt anyone with it. Nothing is neglected and the world keeps turning. But something wonderful will happen: we open the door to emotional healing. We give ourselves a gift: time and space for ourselves. A refuge.

It will feel like you are crawling inside a tree and coming into contact with your roots. There we almost rediscover ourselves in a fetal position. In this way we can nourish ourselves and let our leaves and our beautiful branches grow freely and large. They will hit the sky.

Here are some ideas to think about. They will help you achieve this goal.

How do I take control and take care of myself when ‘I need myself’?

In a world where we feel like a prisoner of our obligations, there must be a space, a small pleasant and special place just for us. It’s like your own lifeboat when you feel like you’re drowning.

• When you feel that outside pressure is holding you back from being yourself, stop for a moment and visualize your lifeboat: get into your boat.
• It’s time to design a rescue plan. Benjamin Franklin often used the following statement. ” If we don’t have a survival plan in our daily lives, we are doomed to drift forever.”

• That survival plan must have a purpose and priorities. (My goal today is to complete all my tasks. I also make it a goal not to get stressed. My plan also includes two hours for myself. Matching well with my colleagues or with my family comes second today.)

Finally, one last note

We need to make it very clear to others that some days we will give full and absolute priority to ourselves. Making this clear to our loved ones is by no means a form of selfishness.

You turn off your cell phone, go for a walk outside, take a deep breath and find refuge in your own thoughts. That is an act of true sanity. Believe it or not, paying attention to the moments when you need yourself and putting your own name on your list of priorities is much more than mere advice. It is mandatory.