Five Strategies For Confronting Fear

It is said that fear is like a monster that feeds on itself. This essentially means that if you have fear and you avoid confronting it, it’s like feeding that fear, allowing it to grow. It is very easy to say that you have to confront fear. The hard part is finding the right way to do this.

Sometimes you are brave enough and decide to expose yourself to what you fear. For example, if you have a fear of heights, you might one day decide to go up to a high point and wait until you feel the fear so that you can confront and overcome it.

The problem with such an ‘all or nothing’ tactic is that it is not always effective. Sometimes it’s only partially effective or can even make you feel so awful that you’ll end up never wanting to do it again. In other words, it could end up having the opposite effect.

In reality, confronting fear is a process. It has its own steps, rhythm and methods. The right way to do it is to confront what you fear through a strategy that really guides you and enables you to achieve your goal. Here are five strategies for confronting fear effectively:

1. Reflect on your fear

The first step is to reflect extensively on what could be causing your fear. You should ask yourself ‘What am I really afraid of?’ Write down all the things that come to your mind in response to this question, no matter how absurd or unrelated they may seem.

There are fears that are completely reasonable. For example, you might be afraid of water because you don’t know how to swim. Or maybe you are afraid of wild animals because you think they are stronger than you and see that they react instinctively, unpredictably or irrationally.

Other fears, however, can be irrational and come from sources that are unknown and difficult to identify. For example, the fear of harmless insects or fear of heights even when you are just in a building and there is no chance of falling.

2. Know and accept your fears

What you need to do is try to identify and get to know your fear as best you can. Don’t fight it. Instead, accept it and look it straight in the eye from every possible perspective. Are you afraid of mice? Why exactly? When was the first time you felt this fear? How do you react when you see a mouse?

Investigate the source of your fear. After all, all phobias can be associated with a lack of information or the unknown. If you are afraid of love, read as many books about it as you can. Inform yourself about what other people think about it. Do this with anything that makes you feel scared or intimidated.

3. Recognize your own resources

When you are afraid, you feel inadequate and miserable. Sometimes it can even make you forget what you are capable of and what you are capable of confronting. Fear acts like a worm that eats inside you, leading you to think that your hands and feet are tied, that you are powerless.

It is therefore very important to change your perspective. Think of all the things you do on a daily basis that require strength and character. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that waking up every morning to fulfill all our daily obligations already demonstrates an enormous amount of skills and virtues.

Question yourself about these virtues and strengths that you practice day in and day out. Give your own values ​​and strengths the recognition they deserve. Appreciate, without false modesty, the multitude of attributes without which it would be impossible to get through your daily routine.

4. Visualize your life without fear

Visualize what your life would be like if the fears that torment you were not there and the limitations they impose on you were not there. Think about how things would change if you didn’t have to carry the burden of your fear. Make a list of all the ways your life could improve.

Try to get as close as possible to what you are afraid of. For example, are you afraid of speaking in public? Then attend events and conferences and sit in the front row to be close to and observe the person speaking. Try to get to know actors or people who have to talk to others a lot for work.

5. Take Action

The important thing is not to overcome your fears in one fell swoop, but rather to take action and steps to achieve it. If you really want to let go of that which you fear, there is only one commandment you must not break: “You must never, for any reason, be passive in the face of what you fear.”

Don’t let yourself become a victim of fear. Accept that you are always able, no matter how difficult it may be, to answer your fears when it is time to confront them. This answer may be evasive, as long as it is not in a mechanical or compulsive way, but rather logical and well thought out.

If you avoid confronting the object of your fear, you should not do it by simply losing control and fleeing. You need to have some sort of roadmap so you can act in case the confrontation overwhelms you.

But be careful: this is only a temporary solution. Give yourself a time limit and decide when is the right time to face your fear. If even after this process it seems impossible for you to expose yourself to your original fear, it may be time to seek professional help.

Remember that in most cases, making the decision to take action and confront what ails you is the hardest part. Once you are able to do that, you will discover that everything was just in your head. You will realize that the threat is not as serious as you always thought. You will finally be able to see that it is not the object of your fear, but the fear itself that you are truly afraid of, that it is the fear itself that made that monster grow in you in the first place.

–Images Courtesy of Jack Traverse–