Learning To Love In Balanced And Healthy Relationships
Is this an example of balanced and healthy relationships? Two strangers pass each other on a train. Their eyes meet and the magic is immediately there. But a series of misadventures separate them. Their families are at odds with each other. They find jobs in different cities. But eventually one of the two performs a heroic act and manages to bring them back together. Against all expectations. And they lived happily ever after.
Does that sound good to you? It could be the plot of one of the many romantic movies that come out every year around the world. Do these stories actually fit into a realistic idea of what love is? Do they promote balanced and healthy relationships or do they lead to toxic and dependent relationships?
How does society influence balanced and healthy relationships?
In the first place, it is important that we wake up to the ideals of romantic love that have surrounded us since childhood. While it may seem unimportant, the reality is that songs, stories, and movies have taught us unrealistic stories about what a relationship is supposed to be like. Society acts as an accomplice in spreading these stories.
As we grow, we have an idea of what it’s like to fall in love and what to expect when that happens. In addition, we get an idea of how we should act and who we should be attracted to. For example, who said that thinner people are more attractive? That was not the ‘truth’ centuries ago.
There’s no denying it: culture and upbringing have an undeniable influence on the kind of relationship we have. That is why it is important to change the current situation. The ones where love, in itself, makes everything worthwhile. They say that if we fall in love it will be forever and we have to give everything to find love. Otherwise it means we have failed.
The popular belief is that the person who is supposed to be “our better half” complements us, and no one will ever be able to fill that role if we ever lose them. So we do everything we can to keep our partner with us.
Instead of balanced and healthy relationships, this creates toxic relationships in which emotional dependence grows to the extreme. Everyone should completely forget about their past life and now only do things together. But is that really love?
The Key to Balanced Relationships: Improved Independence
In a toxic relationship, the health and happiness of the other person is placed above your own. Jealousy is encouraged, as is neglecting friends and family to spend more time with only the partner.
These toxic, dependent relationships only cause pain in all areas of life. They can even lead to situations of abuse. That is why it is crucial that we exchange these romantic beliefs about love for more realistic ones.
So if we want balanced and healthy relationships, we have to treat them right. We must be aware that when we fall in love with someone, we must not merge with them to become a single being. Each person still has rights and needs that do not have to be satisfied exclusively in the relationship.
Finding a healthy balance
Of course , you need to feel comfortable together, share real, intimate times, and build the trust that forms the bonds of love. The difference lies in the knowledge that you don’t have to do everything together. That it is possible to be independent and still have a balanced and healthy relationship.
Therefore , we need to set healthy boundaries and work on trust and openness, while at the same time preserving our own individuality and freedom. Each person should feel able to spend time with others or alone.
In short, it consists of giving, but also knowing how to receive. It is finding a balance where each half feels a sense of health and happiness, both individually and within the relationship. Love is also something you learn!
Images courtesy of Anthony Mapp, Ezra Jeffry, and Jen Palmer.
