Preventing Loneliness With Wisdom
Loneliness can be very cruel and destructive if we make it our enemy. But the society we live in doesn’t help us think differently either. From an early age we are taught to think that being alone is something negative, that loneliness must be prevented. It is something that distinguishes successful people from failures. But, if you ever found yourself on your own, what would you do? Would you give up your life and the pleasure it offers just because there is no one by your side?
The solution to all this can be found in ourselves, but we don’t see it because we have to do something very important for it: to do things that we have come to see (out of habit) as things that we can only do together with others. It is also necessary to free ourselves from the belief that loneliness is something negative. In fact, it can actually be one of the most enriching experiences you’ve ever had.
Loneliness is a gift
Sometimes we tend to do really ridiculous things just to avoid being alone. We move from one relationship to another, we do things for others that we really don’t want to do just because we don’t want to lose them, etc. We can list a whole range of things we do to help other people in our lives. because we don’t think being alone is a realistic option.
Have you ever gone to the cinema alone? Have you ever been brave enough to go to your favorite restaurant without the company of another? How many plans have you given up because you couldn’t get anyone on board? If you really thought about it, you would realize that very often you limit yourself and don’t give the opportunity to do things you enjoy because you have no one to do them with. However, this is one of the dumbest things you can do.
Of course, there may be people who will look at you crazy. Your family may think that you are not wise to go to a cafe or club alone. This will make you feel pressured to listen to their opinions and feed the false idea that is still somewhat in your head. But if you stay true to yourself and refuse to sacrifice your own pleasure because you have no company, you will discover a whole world of possibilities.
Of course you are afraid of being rejected and feeling out of place. But who knows, maybe you’ll find someone there? It’s not that you should do things like this for that purpose, it’s about having a good time. However, it is important to be aware that anything can happen. Even though you may not believe this, there are plenty of people who do things on their own and enjoy this solitude. And who don’t care what others may think of them.
We don’t have to depend on anyone
Our fear of loneliness is the result of the intense habit of being dependent on others. We depend on our families, our partner, our friends… Not even just to do things with, but sometimes just to be able to live. When we find loneliness, we can be free. But we are afraid to let go, afraid to let go of the things that give us a sense of security.
We get dizzy when we realize we’re all alone on that tightrope. We cannot ignore our fears and we have no choice but to listen to ourselves. We’ve been avoiding this for far too long, suppressing our inner voice and only listening to superficial conversations.
However, in solitude we can discover a wonderful feeling. We discover that we are responsible for our own lives and that the social norms and unspoken rules imposed on us don’t really matter at all. When we are alone, our hands tremble because we have to take the reins of our lives into our own hands. This is really scary. How many times have we thought we were free when we were actually dependent on others?
We cannot lie to ourselves. Loneliness hurts because it forces us to face our greatest fears. However, fear is transient and will never last longer than necessary. Loneliness forces us to be ourselves. It forces us to free ourselves from all those stupid beliefs and norms that we mistook for absolute truth. In reality, these beliefs and norms just pigeonhole us.
It’s not bad at all to be alone or to enjoy being alone. Ignore those people who look at you weird for this. These people just tempt you to go backwards and fall back on your old habits, from when you were still oppressed by your dependence on others. If loneliness appears in your life, don’t deny it. Don’t try to avoid it by surrounding yourself with empty people who offer you nothing. Embrace it, accept it and most of all try to enjoy it. Loneliness will help you enrich your life, discover yourself and grow.
