Why Do So Many People Love To Gossip?

Not everyone who likes to gossip lives in a farming hamlet or is a bored housewife who has nothing better to do with her time than gossip with the neighbors. Today, gossiping is different and ingrained in everyone’s daily life. But why do so many people gossip anyway? What makes it so popular?

Language and uncertainty

Some say that gossip arose at the same time as language. They say that gossip even played a useful role in the growth of the great modern societies of today. The stories people told about others were informative: they were about social status, about the roles they had in the group, and about established social norms. These stories have even helped people find a suitable match for example.

At a deeper level, the underlying basic psychological need to gossip is the need to remove uncertainty. People don’t like not having enough information. And so they try to restore the cognitive balance.

How? By getting the missing information through gossip. The motivation here is to obtain information about another person. And the end justifies the means. Nothing is to crazy.

What are gossips like? How do gossips see themselves?

If you’re the victim of gossip, you still start to ask yourself a few questions. Are they gossiping because they’re bored? Do they not have a life of their own? Why do they want to hurt me? In general, people who gossip usually can’t really reflect. Their conversations are therefore mainly about external things. In fact, the surrounding outside world is usually a reflection of one’s inner self. The richer the latter is, the richer the former will be.

People who gossip do have a life, just like everyone else. But they just prefer to think about other people’s problems in order to escape and not have to think about their own problems. It’s their defense mechanism.

What they don’t know is that they are wasting time that they could have invested in themselves otherwise. One of the most interesting things about gossipers is that they rarely admit that they love to gossip. They are often not even aware of it.

Is Gossiping Helpful? Is it good or is it harmful?

In general, people associate gossip with unnecessary, not very relevant information. And sometimes this is exactly what it is. Think of the rumors we hear about famous people. These people have nothing to do with our lives, and yet we talk about them.

However, gossiping can be helpful from an individual point of view. After all, if you ask a lot of questions, this can provide you with valuable information, which can then offer you new possibilities. However, this type of behavior can be labeled as opportunistic. Plus, it can damage your reputation.

Psychology considers moderation to be the best option. It’s good to show an interest in the people you care about. But being curious doesn’t mean getting involved in their lives or gossiping about them with others. Instead, it means you know how to ask questions and how to listen. It’s about being respectful.

If you’re constantly harassing others, sticking your nose in their business, and sneaking into their lives (and their homes), don’t be surprised if they don’t respond positively to your excessive interest.

What can you do if someone wants to gossip with you?

If you think your boyfriend or girlfriend is a gossiper, observe them first. Then ask yourself two questions. Why is this person telling me this? For what purpose is he telling me this? You can even ask that person directly if you think it’s appropriate. Depending on the answer, you can get an idea of ​​whether you can or should take his words seriously.

Normally, if the gossip isn’t about you, it doesn’t interest you that much. But keep in mind that next time it might be about you. The best thing you can do to avoid hurting someone is not to pass on what you have been told. This way the gossip or rumor ends with you.

If, on the other hand, someone is trying to get information from you, it’s best to let them know that you’re not comfortable with it or that you just don’t want to talk about it. You can use any excuse to get rid of these people. Your freedom and privacy are at stake here, so protect yourself.

Does having a lot of information about others make someone trustworthy?

Absolutely not. Trust is earned on the basis of discretion and understanding. It does not depend on the information one has about others. If someone tells you a secret that another person told them, do you think you can trust them with your own secrets? Why should he keep your secret if he doesn’t keep someone else’s too?

Not only do gossips reveal the secrets of others, but they also tend to add a bit of drama to the story. That is, they lie or at least tell half-truths that make the story more interesting.

Of course, we’ve all been informers of other people’s lives at one time or another. However, it becomes a problem when you do this compulsively and constantly, without humility or respect for others. In this case, turn your gaze inward and mind your own business.