Compassion Is The New Therapy: Be Gentle With Yourself

The term compassion is undervalued. Today, we mainly associate it with charity and compassion. The same thing happens with the word  “self-compassion.” Because it reminds us of victimhood. But nothing is further from the essence of these concepts. They have little to do with promoting a debased image of an individual. Because actually they give a strong image of a person.

In fact, a certain therapy style that focuses on compassion is fashionable. As the name suggests, it is a kind of therapeutic intervention that sees in compassion a way to improve the situation of many affected people. It is especially appropriate for people who criticize themselves and others in a very harsh and regular way.

The most interesting aspect of this new therapy is that its effectiveness has been scientifically measured in a laboratory. It has been proven that you can learn and train compassion. In addition, by doing this, the brain has also been shown to change and improve. Everything seems to indicate that being compassionate increases peace of mind, joy and motivation in various areas of life.

An experiment based on compassion

The experiment was conducted at the Center for Investigating Healthy Minds at the University of Wisconsin in the United States. It was later published in the journal  Psychological Science. The study’s leaders took a group of volunteers and trained them in a form of meditation called “meditation of compassion” or “tonglen.”

This type of meditation uses a technique that relies on the recognition and understanding of the pain of other human beings. They combine this meditation with breathing exercises. As they inhale, they visualize the suffering of others and make it their own. During the exhalation one visualizes and strengthens the well-being of others.

During the experiment, participants were asked to imagine a moment when someone was suffering and they wished to remove the pain. They could support their own process by using phrases like  “I wish you were free from pain,” “I wish you were happy”  and other similar phrases.

The first time they performed this exercise, they were asked to think of a loved one. Then they were asked to think of strangers. Finally, they had to perform the exercise while thinking about someone with whom they had a conflict.

The researchers monitored the participants’ brains by means of functional MRI scans. This happened before and after training. In this way they found evidence that changes occurred in the brains of the volunteers. There was mainly an increase in the activity of the inferior parietal lobe and other areas. This showed that you can develop compassion and kindness, just like a muscle.

Compassion and individual well-being

It often happens that someone who is extremely critical of others is also critical of himself. The same goes for situations that are the reverse. These are the cases where the individual focuses on his ego in an exaggerated way. This prevents them from feeling compassion for others as well as for themselves. It can cause a lot of suffering.

There is an immeasurable pride that prevents the individual from experiencing life from a relaxed and positive perspective. In fact, every event becomes a battle where getting the upper hand is the most important thing.

The therapy that focuses on compassion trains the ability to feel the suffering of others and wish for their recovery. It also teaches us that we should also, and first of all, apply this practice to ourselves. Being compassionate to yourself has nothing to do with feeling sorry for yourself or bemoaning yourself. Nor does it mean that you cry or whine about feeling inferior or powerless.

It’s all about learning not to blame yourself for your failures, your mistakes, or your bad decisions. We’re talking about learning not to judge yourself too harshly with the advantage of already knowing the result.

The Many Benefits of Being Compassionate

People in the East have been practicing the art of compassion for others and for themselves for thousands of years. The therapy that focuses on compassion reuses Buddhist principles but also adds neuroscientific elements. The experiment we have already mentioned shows that the training in compassion activates the secretion of oxytocin in the brain.

Oxytocin is the so-called  “happiness hormone.” Other changes also occur in Reil’s Island, the hippocampus, and the pituitary gland. This increases the individual’s level of calm, security and sense of well-being.

Today, the world is full of messages urging us to focus on competence and success. For many people this has become a heavy burden. Because it is something that eventually overwhelms the individual and causes them to suffer from anxiety and depression. Compassion therapy is a call to rediscover kindness as the greatest human value. It understands that this kindness must begin with the treatment each individual gives to themselves.