I Won’t Feel Guilty About Your Resentment
Who hasn’t experienced that persistent feeling of disgust or anger toward someone who has accused them of doing an insult or doing something else that made them feel hurt? In other words, who hasn’t held a grudge? If this feeling is deep-seated and intense, it can eventually turn into hatred.
These feelings can result in anything from mild annoyance to deep hostility, making it difficult or impossible to have a relationship with the abuser. Resentment is a weaker form of revenge. When it causes harm, it’s purpose is not exactly to hurt, but to gain control over a situation or person that cannot be controlled.
When resentment changes your perspective
Resentment is one of the most powerful filters of the human mind. When resentment affects your emotions, you focus only on the negative aspects of the person you think is hurting, distorting the positive and emphasizing his or her bad qualities.
Resentment acts as a shield against the pain, allowing you to regain emotional control. Therefore, if you have not done the things that the other person accuses you of, you must learn to understand the resentment that another person holds for you. You also believe that others have done things that they have not done, feeling hurt or insulted when it turns out that those things didn’t really happen.
When you think about it, resentment is a personal evaluation of what others have done to you, and evaluations change depending on the perspective you look at them from. You can only see the reality of people and the positive things they have given you if you let go of this emotion and all that it entails. The good people have done is as real as the damage they have done.
To live a life free from conflict, it is necessary to exchange the filter of resentment for another, because there is no filter more harmful than this. If you have to choose a filter to see through, let it be one of affection. This one might be just as distorted, but I assure you it will be more productive. This will make both you and the person you’re looking at feel better.
Is someone making you feel guilty? Stop the manipulation
Inducing guilt in another so that he or she behaves the way you want is a form of manipulation, and it has been around for centuries. Culturally, we’ve learned that we should be punished when we make a mistake, and what better way to make others feel guilty than by using resentment?
If you think that guilt requires punishment or compensation at all costs, the emotional cycle of guilt eventually ends up in an emotional maze. This emotional maze reinforces the person who uses his or her resentment to make you feel so guilty that you fall for their manipulation without realizing it.
If you feel guilty about something you have done or no longer do, you are not living your life authentically. You live out of obligation, according to what other people want from you, ultimately giving up your own interests.
Of course we all make mistakes that we are not particularly proud of, but constantly looking back to the past and accusing yourself of the same mistakes over and over again is an unnecessary waste of your energy, which is very bad for your well-being.
To stop feeling guilty about yourself , you must learn to control your life and your thoughts, without judging yourself through the filters of resentment or the distorted opinions that others have about you.
