How Do You Develop Self-control?

You set goals, you are motivated to achieve them, and you want to change your habits. You know it’s a change you have to make, that it’s going to be good for you, yet you fail. If it’s logically best for you, why are you holding onto the self-destructive behavior? Because you lack self-control!

Does this look familiar? We’ve all experienced it when we’re trying to do things like dieting, getting more exercise, or quitting smoking. But do not worry! You can really improve and maximize your self-control. Keep reading to learn some helpful tools.

Monitor yourself to improve your self-control

The truth is, you can’t always stop yourself from doing something you know is self-destructive. Rationally you know you need to control yourself, but at some point you just give in.

You tell yourself that a hamburger will be okay, that you can continue your diet tomorrow and continue to lose weight. You promised yourself you’d hit the gym at least three times a week, but if you’re missing one, it’s okay.

To gain more self-control in such situations , the first tool you should use is self-monitoring. In addition, write down when you show the behavior you want to avoid. Just try not to obsess about it!

This will help you visualize how often you go wrong and make you more aware that you are not just doing it ‘occasionally’. You can also write down the times when you substitute behavior for healthier behavior. That way, you emphasize the effort you put in and use it as positive reinforcement.

Reassignment

In psychology, researchers have noted that one of the biggest obstacles to self-control is the way you ascribe responsibility for your actions. Your attribution style directly influences the way you evaluate yourself and the behavioral changes you make.

If you don’t take responsibility for your behavior, you have less self-control. You’ll think there’s nothing you can do to change the situation, so there’s no point in trying. This can lead to sadness and even depression.

Therefore, you need to reconsider who is responsible for your actions. Try the following exercise: Think about the positive and negative events that have occurred in the past few weeks and assign the amount of responsibility you think you have had in each case.

Determine the percentage that belongs to you, others and chance. This will help you see the reality of the situation and see where you can change the outcome, which will help you change your behavior.

Set goals

Sometimes people develop problems with self-control because they set unrealistic goals. For example, if you tell yourself that you will never eat carbs again, or that you hit the gym six times a week, you are much more likely to fail.

That is why it is important to adapt to reality. Instead , it’s better to set small goals that you can achieve gradually. That way you can meet your own requirements little by little.

These goals should be positive, realistic, specific and within your control. For example, instead of going to the gym six times a week, plan to go three days for two months. Then four times a week for the following months, until you can reach six. It’s more manageable that way, isn’t it?

Ratification

The easiest way to improve and control behavior is through reinforcement. You can reinforce your new habit in many ways, by giving yourself a treat, going shopping, or doing something less materialistic, such as telling yourself how well you’re doing.

You could make two lists of reinforcements. First, make a list of different degrees of fun activities that different levels of remuneration represent, depending on the extent of the requirement of behavior. This list can range from buying your favorite candy to going on vacation.

Second, you can write down positive qualities and virtues about yourself (like I’m consistent, I’m going to achieve this, I’ve done a good job, and so on). You will tell yourself these things immediately after improving the behavior you are trying to reinforce.

When you practice with the tools we’ve explained here, it’s very important to be consistent, because it’s the only way to improve your self-control. And it’s worth it!