Criticism Only Hits Me As Far As I Let It

Criticism only affects me to the extent that I allow it. Half my life I’ve paid far too much attention to the opinions of others, their hurtful reactions, and the advice of people who think they know me.

Life is too short to focus your attention on thoughts that are not yours and entirely on perspectives that are not useful and do not promote your personal growth in any way.

It’s hard not to pay attention to criticism. It’s hard to ignore it. But never forget that  you are what you think during the day, so don’t waste time on regrets, doubts and negative criticism.

Anyone who tells you “criticism doesn’t affect me at all” is lying. It affects us all in some way. All criticism is a direct confrontation with who we are, with our way of behaving. If the criticism is constructive and we accept it, integrate it and learn from it, it can help us grow internally and that is always a positive sign.

But what do we do with the situations where the negative criticism comes from people who mean a lot to us? A painful reaction from a family member, friend or partner always leads to our self-confidence being damaged in some way. We need to know how to respond to this and how to process it.

Criticism that affects our self-confidence

There must always come a time in our lives where we must be invulnerable to negative criticism,  to these poisonous, hurtful words. We’re sure many of our readers already can. On the other hand, there are also many who are in the middle of that process.

The most vulnerable words are the words we hear in our youth. Criticisms from our parents about how we behave, our mistakes, and even our appearance are clear attacks on our self-confidence.

We’ve all received negative comments that didn’t really impress. Whether someone has told us “You are hopeless, you can’t do anything” in our childhood or perhaps later, by our partner, there is no doubt that this is an attack on our self-confidence, the self-confidence that we have worked hard to achieve. strengthening day by day.

It is important to keep in mind that these unconstructive personal attacks can change us and we need to know how to shake this off in self-protection, how to raise our shields to protect against the harmful, unloving criticism coming from the mouth of the people who should love us.

Personal, harmful and useless criticism directly affects our emotions. An emotion echoes in our thoughts. I feel bad… Why? “Because my partner has told me that I can’t do anything, that without him I mean nothing in the world.”

If we give importance to this criticism, it will influence our way of thinking and change our responsibilities. Am I really a worthless person? All this  will cause our self-confidence to be smashed to pieces,  just like a puzzle.

Criticism should only influence as far as you allow it

It has cost you a lot to be where you are now. You rely on your past experiences to overcome your challenges, battles that only you know you won and that define the great person you are today. Do not allow toxic criticism to undo these achievements. Negative reactions are not worth your attention. It’s a step back, a regression.

You are your thoughts. They build your reality and serve as oxygen that fuels your confidence. Don’t let these just become empty words, coming from the minds that lack empathy and don’t even have the privilege of really knowing you.

Those who love you will not hurt  you and certainly will not bombard you with useless and harmful criticism. The next time you get negative comments, try this strategy:

• Imagine a gold chest.  If you are criticized, the first thing to do is place your confidence in this chest, well protected by a lock and with a key.
• Now analyze the comment with logic and sobriety. Be honest with yourself. Is this criticism constructive? Does it contain a grain of truth? If so, analyze it. Integrate it, learn from it and grow so you can feed your confidence with it.

• Is the criticism useless and unrealistic? Does it have nothing to do with who you are, what you have and what defines you? Then let it slide off you. Don’t pay attention to it because if you do this, if you allow the anger in you, you will always be connected to that negative emotion and even more so to the person who said this to you.

Recall Buddha’s famous words: “The one who makes you angry controls you.” It is not worth it. It is always better to view the criticism as a dead leaf carried away by the wind. It is nothing, just sound, like a cold wind that is not worthy of your attention and warmth. It will pass and disappear.

You’re your own best friend, so don’t let the useless criticism linger in your head or you’ll turn into your own enemy. It is not worth it.

–Images courtesy of Mary Chem, Art Mediaphic, Alec Jim–