Eight Ways To Deal With Resentment

What are the best ways to deal with resentment? The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines resentment as “a feeling of indignant displeasure or persistent hostility toward something that is considered a fault, insult, or injury.”

It’s a negative emotion you feel when someone intentionally harms you or doesn’t try hard enough to prevent it. Resentment is often also the motivation behind revenge. Therefore, the primary reason you should learn to handle resentment is not only to avoid hurting others, but also to take care of your own mental health.

Tempting as it is sometimes, holding on to painful experiences is bad for your well-being. In the end, you only have yourself with it. We often try to justify it by saying that we are simply expressing our emotions so that we can feel better.

Eight ways to deal with resentment

It’s helpful to have some tools to better deal with resentments. That’s why we’ve gathered some advice for this article to help you better manage these kinds of situations in the future.

Following these guidelines will help you identify the source of the problem and analyze it in a way that doesn’t make it worse. As a result, you can avoid getting carried away by emotions that can negatively influence your behavior.

You have to nip resentment in the bud

If you want to learn to deal with resentment, you must first learn to objectively analyze its cause. Try to find a well-founded explanation that counteracts your negative feelings. For example, accept that not every personal or professional situation will always be adapted to your needs or wishes.

Don’t feed negative thoughts

It’s no use thinking about the same problem over and over. It may even just annoy you, making it hard to control your resentment. Instead, try to forget about the problem. Accept that you can’t change what happened and start looking for solutions.

Values ​​forgiveness

This can be one of the most difficult pieces of advice to apply. This is because it is not always easy to forgive another. One option, therefore, is to try to remind yourself of the events that motivate you to forgive the other person. This can be tricky because your head is usually full of thoughts about things that make forgiveness difficult.

Fortunately, there is a simple exercise that can help you with this. On a piece of paper , make two columns and in each of these columns write down the positive and negative aspects of your relationship with the person in question.

You can even give it a numerical value. This will help you manage the resentment you feel in a more objective way. Doing so will give you a better perspective on both the bad and the good about the situation.

Draw the right conclusions

This is a good follow-up to the previous step. After analyzing the positive and negative aspects of your relationship with the person who hurt you, you can draw conclusions about the value of the relationship. That way , you can determine whether you’re willing to go beyond forgiveness and find it worth saving the relationship or not.

from your feelings

To handle resentment well, it’s important not to keep the problem to yourself. Talk about it with someone who can help you see things from a different angle. Other people can give you ideas or insights that you didn’t have before.

Don’t act without thinking

Getting carried away by your emotions is the antithesis of managing your resentment. As difficult as it may seem, the best thing to do is to take a step back and try not to get into discussions in the heat of the moment. Wait until you have calmed down and can view things rationally.

Selective Memory

Your brain has a survival mechanism that helps you forget things that cause you pain. This is not a foolproof solution. However, it can help you deal with your resentment in a healthier way.

If someone hurts you in any way, don’t assume it will happen again. Instead, try to convince yourself that it was an isolated incident.

That said, it’s important to know how to get to the bottom of someone’s character. You can try to be aware of which people may hurt you again in the future. Don’t get obsessed with that idea, though.

Distance yourself

Finally, in situations that cause you stress, it can sometimes be best to distance yourself. This can also be good advice when it comes to a breakup. It helps you avoid situations that can reopen old wounds. Ultimately, time and space will help you get a clearer picture of the situation and let go of your resentment.