Even From My Broken Heart I Want To Learn
Even heartbroken, I want to learn from this experience. I will keep going. When I need it, I will feel hurt. I will weep when my body feels the need. I will spend my time with someone who understands how I feel, but not with someone who won’t listen.
I will respect myself enough and share my pain with people who appreciate me and do me good. For I will be strong enough to make the difference. What I’m going through now is mine. It’s so personal that I don’t want to make it any more painful. But in this experience I want to find meaning.
Perhaps you recognize yourself in these words. You may have also had a broken heart like mine. Maybe it was the first time, or just one more time to add to the list. Or maybe your heart only breaks with people who are very important to you. It doesn’t matter what situation you are in.
I’ll find out what hides my broken heart to better understand
People react to disappointments in love in very different ways. They do this based on the expectations they had of the relationship. It depends on the place they gave that person in their life and on the image they built of that person. The depth of the relationship itself also plays a role. There are millions of nuances that determine the pain that throbs within us.
When we see the mechanisms in our relationships, our view becomes clearer and less blurry. We give an example. Perhaps you are someone who immediately idealizes the person you get to know. You ‘fill in’ him by ascribing to him qualities that actually have nothing to do with him.
Often we see that person as we want to see him. If we don’t see it from the beginning, we look for signs that confirm that he is wonderful and special. We’re getting really good at ‘inventing’. We add pieces and move the particles as if they were toys.
Self-deception makes you more likely to repeat the same thing
We can see that the reality is different. Yet our dependence on that person takes over the relationship. As a result, we are drifting. I don’t care that he’s not the person I suggested. “I can’t live without him.” And right now, our fear of being alone predominates. This will continue until we are finally willing and able to open our eyes and leave this labyrinth.
To do this, we must look on the basis of truth and not self-deception. Because that has ensured that we stayed with people who didn’t deserve us. It was self-deception that led us to fall for the same type of wrong person over and over again. When we understand how we act in a relationship, we can find meaning in this painful experience. Then I can see how that first crack in my broken heart started.
The period that begins when a relationship (or a fleeting unrequited love) ends is like very fertile land. It gives us many opportunities to learn and without blindfolds or illusions. Only then can we take responsibility for our mistakes and reap what we learn from them. It is the only way we can understand what led to their disastrous consequences. There is no point in putting the blame on the other person for the rest of our lives. It’s easy but doesn’t pay off.
Be honest and investigate your responsibility
In a relationship, we all have a responsibility. It’s important that we accept them and know how to get out of the relationship when necessary. If we trample on our confidence so that we can fit the other person into our lives, then it won’t be a healthy relationship. When we’re trying to prevent the other from leaving us because he’s number one in our lives, we’re looking at a bright red flag here! We’ll have to do something.
So be honest with yourself and always try to find meaning in your painful experiences. My broken heart means something. Find out how to better understand yourself and how to avoid repeating mistakes. Once the lesson sinks in, you will be a little wiser and a little stronger.
