Five Things Healthy Couples Have In Common
Friedrich Nietzsche once said, “There is always some madness in love. But there is always some reason in madness.” Could reason be what healthy couples have in common?
People often say that when we find the right person, we will “love love.” Still, it seems logical to me that there should be some degree of mental health in every relationship. You could call it a healthy relationship, two people who understand each other, or thousands of other things. First of all, however, we should say that it is possible to find a balance – at least that is the opinion of experts.
We base our list on the theories of the Catalan psychologist Encarni Muñoz. This relationship expert believes that a healthy relationship primarily requires that we listen carefully to our own criteria. What do you need in a relationship? Can the person you’re with give you that? Let’s see…
Healthy couples take responsibility for their emotions
An important factor that makes healthy couples healthy is that everyone takes responsibility for their own happiness. Love for the other comes from solid self-love and self-esteem. Both self-love and self-esteem reinforce the idea that we have something of value to add to the relationship.
Remember that if you undervalue yourself, you can often blame your partner for everything or be extremely dependent on him. Therefore, both people in the relationship should be equals to each other. Both partners must find a balance and be able to share their responsibilities equally.
Open communication to keep a balance
According to Muñoz, the second point has to do with the importance of communication. To achieve and maintain the balance mentioned above, we need good communication. Empathy and active listening are keys to effective communication.
It is not always easy, but it is important to always try to be understanding towards the other person. You have to try to understand his views and why he does the things he does. You have to be flexible and tolerant, even if you don’t agree with some things. You are on the same team and have one common goal.
Assertiveness and sincerity
The relationship of healthy couples is never based on lies. This is a very simple idea. However, it is essential that both partners are honest about possible deal breakers in the relationship. If there’s something that bothers you, don’t hold onto it until you reach your breaking point.
No matter how well you know your partner, you can’t know what he’s thinking 100% of the time. If you think you know everything about him, it’s easy to get into arguments and negative discussions.
So, even if you get along and know each other well most of the time, it’s important to be clear when expressing yourself. There is nothing wrong with being vulnerable to your partners. After all, he loves you.
Trust is also essential for healthy couples
This is also of fundamental importance. Without trust on both sides, it is extremely difficult to find common ground. Creating a familiar and supportive environment in which you both feel loved is important.
If you manage to create such an environment, you can rest assured that whenever you need your partner, he will be there for you too. He will support you, help you move forward and walk with you. You will also avoid the torment that jealousy brings. Think about it: if your partner loves you and you love him, what do you need to be afraid of?
Healthy couples live in the present and are realistic
Suppose one of the two in the relationship focuses on what might happen in the future or on changing the other. Or he spends a lot of time thinking that he will be a better partner tomorrow. If this is the case, then the relationship doesn’t really have a future. A healthy relationship exists in the present, in the here and now.
Just as you cannot live in the future, you cannot live in the past. Almost every relationship has its problems. However, you have to let go of these problems once you have solved them and forgive each other’s mistakes. Don’t get all old cows out of the ditch in every quarrel. Don’t use past problems as weapons or blame.
As Walter Winchell once said, “Never above you, never below you. Always next to you.” This idea and the points we discussed above are things healthy couples have in common. At least, that’s the opinion of psychologist Encarni Muñoz.
