Love Comes And Goes But True Friendship Is Forever
What happens when your partner replaces your friends? What do you really lose when you put your friends aside for a relationship? Finding time for both love and true friendship is an important part of a healthy relationship, because true friendship is forever.
When you’re just starting a relationship with someone, it’s normal that you don’t have that much time for friends. The plans you make with your partner may seem more interesting due to the fact that you are in love.
You really want to get to know the other person and experience these first, exciting moments with them. It’s a new situation that demands a lot of your attention, but you should never leave your friends.
True friendship is forever
A group of researchers led by Robin Dunbar studied this topic. They showed that when you start a romantic relationship with another person, you lose an average of two of your five best friends. They also claimed that couples who make time for their friends and who each take time for themselves are, on average, more satisfied with their relationship .
That’s because they learn to divide their time so that they can keep all the things that bring them happiness and comfort. Ultimately, they transfer these feelings—happy and comfort—to their relationship, making it stronger.
Love comes and goes, but true friendship is forever. That’s why it’s so important to spend time with your friends, wherever or whenever it is. According to Robin Dunbar’s research , it’s good for you to split your time with your partner instead of dedicating it 100% to him or her.
But that doesn’t mean you should lose sight of your partner. It simply means that you also have to make time for other people you love and value.
Drop everything for love
It’s a common mindset, and at first glance, it seems incredibly romantic. But when you drop everything for love, you’re selling yourself short. You do it to ‘be together’, but it’s not the kind of being together of two complete people. It is more of a manifestation of affection. You lose a part of your individuality and create an alliance of two incomplete people who are together to hide what they lack.
However, that’s not what love is. Love is respecting the fact that your partner also needs time for himself, has friends and has a life. They have chosen you to share this life with you, but not to become fully involved with you. Trust and communication will help any couple maintain their personal space outside of the relationship, without negative consequences.
“I give up everything for love.” That is a selfish choice. It also means that when the relationship comes to an end, you are left with nothing. This makes the fracture all the more difficult to process.
You should continue to spend time on your hobbies, yourself and your friendships. Trust us: it will make your life richer and you will have all the more to share. Never forget that.
True friendship also takes time
Maintaining friendships takes understanding—but it also takes time, just like a romantic relationship. Even if you don’t have as much time as before, that’s all the more reason to do things with your friends that are emotionally high quality. Be authentic and love them. Enjoy it!
Friendship is also love. So you have to work on it, pay attention to it and take care of it. Think of it as a beautiful flower garden that you have to maintain. It is ultimately your choice. Make sure you don’t let these beautiful bonds fade just because you started a new relationship with someone else.
It’s hard to imagine a friend who leaves you for love and comes back after a while to make up for it. It’s hard because no one likes to be abandoned. Most importantly, true friendship is forever!
