Our First Impressions: The Starting Point Of Every Relationship

Have you ever considered how quickly you form a picture of the person in front of you? Or how you move so quickly from what you see to what you feel? Did you ever realize that your brain creates a profile of the people around you almost automatically? These are just a few of the things that show how our first impressions work.

Burt Decker conducted a study on this topic. This study proves that our brains form a first impression of someone we meet in just two seconds. In the blink of an eye, your brain creates 50% of the image you have of them. They then finish the rest in the next four minutes. That mental image will determine how you deal with them. Because usually you will eventually confirm this image.

We give you an example to show what we mean. For a second, imagine the following. When you picture someone you just met, you imagine they are friendly. If you think so, then chances are it’s because you were kind too. So the other person will stay that way.

If they weren’t friendly, maybe they’re starting it now. This is one of the reasons it is so difficult to change a first impression. The way we interact with the other person starts with that first impression.

One conclusion has to do with how important our nonverbal language and appearance are. The way you introduce yourself in that first moment will make a big difference.

How do society and culture influence our first impressions?

Society and culture influence us in a conscious and unconscious way. All the things around you and the full story you have lived with them will determine the first impression you store in your brain. Sometimes you don’t even process that you did it. Your actions then run parallel to that impression without you even realizing it.

Society tells you how to dress, act, speak… So the criteria you use to shape your first impression of someone also have a similar basis. You will check if they match what the company approves (this may or may not match what you approve).

People who don’t fit in these directions are more likely to notice you. That will stick to your first impression. You’ll tag them even faster.

Much of this process is unconscious. You do it without realizing it. This makes it difficult to directly influence the process. But what we can do is be aware of how we form our first impressions and be skeptical about it. Trust it only when the impression deserves it. Be open to change it. Do this and it will also be beneficial for you as a person. Because it will improve the quality of your new relationships.

Are our first impressions correct?

We are more than first impressions and appearances. Each of us has much within. We all deserve that people take the time to get to know us. But as you’ve seen, our first impressions quite often hit the nail on the head. You notice that when you compare them with the impression you have after a few months.

But be careful… This usually happens with relationships that are not very deep, such as between teacher and student. In more intense relationships, this initial image will often change over time. That may be because you misjudged them a bit or simply because they have changed.

The research shows that we are quite good at our first impressions. In just a few seconds you can fill in information that the other person has not given you and that is still correct.

But what exactly is happening here? Society tells us how to act. So the idea has also arisen that it is very easy to mislead someone you are talking to. You simply act within the “normal” boundaries set by society. It’s easy to create a positive image of yourself if you know in advance what they want to see.

First impressions are usually pretty good. Yet they are rarely exact. The main advantage is that they help you to create expectations and act. The downside is that those first impressions contain a lot of assumptions that can hold you back from really getting to know the other person.