Philophobia: The Fear Of Love

Fall in love without asking yourself for permission. Let go of your fears! Do you know what you’re missing out on? Do you know that you are letting some of the most beautiful things of your life pass you by? The fear of love can enslave us.

Say ‘enough!’ and fall in love no matter the consequences. Don’t be afraid of love. Be brave, take risks. You can’t turn back time and do things over again. You may get a second chance in a different body and soul, maybe in a different way, but it will never be the same. Let your heart pound with full force.

Let love fill you like how you breathe a sea breeze or like the radiant sun penetrating your skin. Be happy with the love that knocked on your door and said goodbye. Do not close the doors to your heart and soul. What are you so afraid of? To lose it? Nothing in this life is certain, only death. Accept that possible losses will always happen, including losing love, but in the meantime you are still alive.

Understanding the fear of love

‘What’s happening to me? Why am I so afraid of love? I wish I could avoid it, but when I find myself falling in love, I run away. I end the relationship and then I feel calm again. I just panic, which physically manifests itself in dizziness, nausea and shivering. And I can’t stand it.’

Perhaps you suffer from  philophobia, or the fear of falling in love. As soon as you’re about to start a relationship, you panic and usually end it right away. Sometimes you realize what is happening and other times you make excuses or a thousand and one other reasons to justify your decision.

When someone with philophobia is about to fall in love, he experiences very strong and limiting despair. After all, who likes to have their heart racing like crazy? Who likes to sweat, feel dizzy or in short, be vulnerable? For someone with philophobia, it is a normal reaction to distance yourself from the unpleasant situation as soon as possible.

This fear of love seems to be related to experiences from previous relationships, the pain and suffering of which can still be felt. In a new relationship, when they feel like the past might repeat itself or if they start to feel vulnerable, they run as fast as they can to protect themselves from potential disappointment.

How do you overcome the fear of love

We can cure phobias and philophobia is no exception. You simply have to accept what is happening to you, be motivated enough to want to cure it and seek help from a specialist. Certain therapies exist to treat phobias, such as:

• cognitive therapy. This therapy will help you gain insight into the mental processes that scare you. You will learn what your fears and worries are and you will learn how to replace your negative thoughts with positive ones.
• Emotional desensitization. In this therapy, the person is exposed to the things that make them anxious, be it love or something else.
• Hypnotherapy. Hypnosis can help eliminate negative associations. In this therapy, the person is put under hypnosis to reveal their psychological trauma. The therapist will ask the person in this state to let go of their fears.

• Neurolinguistic programming. This controversial therapy is combined with hypnosis. It is said that our thoughts are formed by words, which eventually create a program in our brain. The patient learns about and changes the programs installed in his brain by himself, his parents, his teachers, etc.