Sometimes ‘I Believe In You’ Says More Than ‘I Love You’

Sometimes ‘I believe in you and trust you’ is worth more to us than an ‘I love you’. Ultimately, love is nothing more than a label if it is not accompanied by meaningful acts that confirm it. Actions that will strengthen the bond with care and attention. There are therefore few statements as valuable as ‘I believe in you. I am here for you.’

All these affective dynamics are covered in what we today call the “psychology of trust.” This discipline is very new and is not yet part of the behavioral sciences and the theory of personality. What these studies have proven, however, is that few things affect the brain as positively as knowing that we are unconditionally supported by the people we love.

When you build a significant bond with someone, be it a romantic relationship or a friendship, there is one thing that you often value the most. What strengthens this bond is absolute and unconditional trust in that other person. If this doesn’t happen, if at some point you notice a lack of harmony or an emptiness in this trusting relationship, something inside you will crumble.

We all want others to believe in us when we describe the goals we want to achieve, or when things aren’t going so well, or when we say we’ll get back on track… If this doesn’t happen, if the person listening gives an ironic comments, ignores or doubts what we are saying, the brain begins to secrete cortisol. The stress hormone sprays like a fountain and warns us that something is not right…

‘I believe in you and I will stay with you until the end’ is worth a thousand words

Trust isn’t just a fundamental part of romantic relationships. It is also indispensable in the professional field, something that many companies still do not take into account or that they do not perceive. For example, the CEO of Yahoo demands that all his employees work in the same complex. He wants to be able to closely monitor every process within the company. He wants all departments to follow one line.

Something that seems logical at first has different nuances on a psychological level. An opposite approach is that of Richard Branson, founder of the Virgin Group. In his case, he doesn’t need to have all his employees around. They are even located all over the world.

According to Branson, every human bond should be created on the basis of trust. When it comes to an employee’s impulses, creativity and productivity, nothing has a better effect than telling them, “I believe in your skills and commitment wherever you are. I’ll believe you when you tell me you’ll do your best for this company.”

‘I believe in you’ is worth much more than a whole speech. It’s a positive reinforcement that gives you the wings to fly and the roots to keep growing. It gives you the assurance that you both have one goal, one common goal. Behavioral scientist Ernest Fehr said that trust is not something to be taken for granted. Not when we love someone or when we want to maintain a friendship or working relationship.

I believe in myself, but I also want you to believe in me

Needing others to believe in you, to believe in your worth and the sincerity of your actions or words does not mean that you are dependent on their validation. This is a fundamental pillar of any relationship. A child needs it from its parents in order to grow and gain autonomy, self-esteem and self-confidence. The members of a relationship need it to safeguard the relationship, gain stability, and be happy.

A genuine “I believe in you” will take away your fears and tensions when you feel lost. It will make you feel less alone and sometimes it will do you a lot more than an ‘I love you’. The fact that you need this does not detract from your dignity, not even remotely… Because even if believing in yourself and your own abilities is essential, it is also important to experience that the roots of trust in your loved ones are strong. It’s important to know and feel that they will be there and believe in you, even if you don’t believe in yourself.

Incidentally, neuroscience explains that experiencing this certainty and this type of reinforcement allows you to release oxytocin. Also known as the cuddle hormone, it plays an important role in affection, happiness and ultimately social connectivity. Enjoying such support on a daily basis thus shapes a kind of selfless behavior that ensures psychological well-being and better mental health.

The need for support is genetically determined

It may seem strange, but the need to trust others is ingrained in our DNA. Being able to count on the support of other people has always been key to our survival. Psychologists who specialize in this also tell us that in order to get others to trust us, we must start with trusting the person in front of us.

Of course, we know this is difficult at times, especially if our trust has been betrayed more than once. However, trust is the foundation on which the most genuine relationships grow. It will also allow you to develop happier relationships and achieve more solid work projects.