Tantrums In Children: How To Prevent Them

It’s the third time your child has a tantrum today. He yells and cries and you wonder if you’re handling the situation right. Really, all you want to do is run or disappear. In the midst of all that chaos, you get frustrated and confused. You’ve already tried everything you can think of to make the tantrums go away, but you’re at your wits’ end. It might help to know that you are not alone in this. This is because tantrums in children are much more common.

Every tantrum carries a lesson and an opportunity to learn how to better manage your emotions. Today we share some tools and strategies to change your mind about tantrums in children and learn how to take advantage of them as learning opportunities.

What are tantrums?

When they are between two and four years old, most children tend to express their frustration in a very interesting way, through tantrums, also known as tantrums. Tantrums are a common emotional response at this age . Tantrums in children of that age are normal. However , they should pass when the child is between four and five years old.

At this age, children begin to develop more appropriate strategies and ways of communicating to express their frustration or discomfort. This makes them no longer feel the need to use tantrums to express themselves.

Tantrums are not only a convenient way for children to express frustration and discomfort, but also to show that they are tired, hungry or uncomfortable. Or when they don’t get what they want. They can also occur when children try to do something on their own, but are unable to get it done.

How to prevent tantrums in children

Below we share a list of guidelines that can help you avoid tantrums in children:

1. Identify the causes of the tantrums

Identifying the causes of the tantrums doesn’t mean you can prevent them all in the future or that the world has to adapt to what your child needs. Tantrums in children can be triggered by a general reason, such as hunger, lack of sleep, wanting something, lack of attention, or some other specific reason.

Routines can be very helpful in this regard. It’s also good to try to stick to these routines on the weekends as well. This means that you spend more time with your children, even at times when the tantrums often occur.

2. Consider your child’s request

When your child has a request, it would be good to really think about what he is asking. Consider whether the request is unreasonable or excessive. However, only give in when the aspects of his request are reasonable.

So this does not mean that you have to give in to all his desires. You have to set boundaries. Keep the following questions in mind:

• Will he hurt himself?
• Will he hurt others?
• Can I give in without giving him authority?

• Will he pollute the environment?

As adults, we are the ones who have the last word, but most of the time we say “No” by default.  In this way we limit their curiosity, freedom and even the language they use. By doing this, we’re just throwing more tantrums than is normal for that age.

To encourage your child to express his feelings, it is best to ask him simple questions with concrete alternatives that are easy to understand. For example: do you want to eat chicken or fish? Do you want to wear this shirt or that shirt? This increases their confidence and makes them feel important. Plus, you prevent them from automatically saying “No” to every suggestion.

3. Let your child know what to expect

Tell your child what will happen. For example: “Today you are going to school and then I will come pick you up after you take a nap and have a snack. Then we’ll go to Grandma’s.” or “We’re going to eat first, then you’re going to take a shower and brush your teeth. Then I’ll read you a story and then you should go to sleep.” You can also do something similar with other activities your child needs to do.

Knowing what to expect gives the child a sense of security. If you are steadfast and always follow the same routine, you can avoid chaos and your child will not feel the need to break through the chaos. That way you keep temptations that lead to tantrums away. If you tell your child what you’re going to do, he won’t be able to make alternate plans in his head.

For example, let him know five to ten minutes in advance when you have to leave. You can also try to negotiate, for example with “five more bites,” “one more down the slide” and so on. This will avoid arguing. In addition, this will make your  child feel more respected and everything will run a lot more smoothly.

4. Give your child options

When your child needs to do something but he refuses, give him multiple options. For example: “one more time and then we’ll leave,” “I’ll help you, then we’ll do it together” or “first you’ll take a shower and then we can play together.” Children can feel very helpless when confronted with commands.

They have yet to form their personality, so ‘no’ is an almost automatically confirmed response. To keep them from getting angry or frustrated, you can offer them an option in exchange for what you will deny them.

What not to do when you feel a tantrum coming

• Do not give in to the child’s demands to avoid a tantrum. This may help at the time, but will lead to much worse tantrums in the future.
• Do n’t give your child a long explanation. Let’s not forget that children have a limited attention span.
• Do not lose your patience or composure. Don’t forget that you’re his role model, so you shouldn’t have tantrums either.
• Do not leave the room. Stay with your child, give him options or distract him.

When handled properly, tantrums in kids should disappear around age 4 or 5. And since anger is a part of life, if you manage their temper tantrums well, your children will really be better equipped to manage life successfully in this complex world. A world that will not hesitate to put obstacles in their path.

It is important that you remember that you are not alone in these situations. Other parents also have issues with their children’s tantrums and talking to them may give you new ideas. Also know that when things get out of hand, there is nothing wrong with seeking professional help.