Telling The Truth: 5 Keys To Not Hurting Others

When you say “tell the truth,” many will associate it with insulting people.  However, the truth is positive and it would be best if we always have access to the truth. When did telling the truth become a means of attacking others?

The answer might be that living in a society with an unspoken agreement that we have to lie in relationships in order to be (supposedly) kind. It seems like we have to lie if we want harmony with someone. That is why people mistakenly conclude that they need to be brutally honest to end the lies.

Sometimes people furiously tell the truth. At other times, the person who is the subject of that “truth” feels bad when we tell them. That happens even though we intend to be constructive. What about the truth then?

We must be able to say and hear the truth that we don’t like. This should not lead to a major conflict. Let’s look at some keys further in this article. They will make telling the truth less unpleasant and hurtful.

Speaking the truth in a non-hurtful way

1. Express yourself constructively

First, it is important that we examine our intentions when we speak the truth. So the first thing we need to do is be honest with ourselves. We must clearly consider whether we want to be constructive or, on the contrary, use that unpleasant truth to make someone feel bad.

The way we say the truth must depend on that intention. When our motivation is positive, we choose a certain way of communicating. If you are going to point out a weakness, do it in a way that contributes in a positive way rather than creating friction. Do it the right way. Then the message will not be so aggressive.

2. Be willing to listen

Often both parties are involved in the unpleasant truth. So if we are able to tell the truth, then we must also be able to listen. Sincere conversations are two-way. Both sides have something to say.

Listening means opening your mind to the other person’s point of view. Constructive listening is intended to make useful decisions together with all those involved. So there should be no aversion to understanding the reasoning of the other.

3. Don’t think for others

It is not appropriate to try to think for others. We mean this in two senses. The first is to imagine what the person’s reaction to the truth will be. Don’t make assumptions about what the possible harm or bad feelings will be.

The second meaning is the assumption that it is completely clear what the other person is thinking. You then assume that their intentions and their most secret feelings are known and then judge them based on this. In either case, thinking in the place of the other only leads to mistakes. Telling the truth is not the same as believing you own the truth.

4. Be clear and direct

An unpleasant truth sounds terrible when said in anger and with harsh words and a lack of respect. But it is also not good to express it with euphemisms. In both cases, you distort the central objective. And that is telling the truth.

Then what is the right thing to do? Communicate those truths calmly and clearly. Because when you play with words, you only give the feeling that you want to mislead someone or manipulate the situation. Think about the most appropriate words to form an accurate, concise, and understandable message.

5. Set a goal

Telling the truth should always have a purpose. But often we make no effort to clearly define the goal before we speak. This is a big mistake. For your reasons may not be positive or not worthwhile.

The question is what do you want to achieve by telling the truth. A healthy answer is that your intention is to solve problems. You want to better understand or improve the quality of the relationship.

So reject the idea that telling the truth is like insulting someone. Being rude doesn’t mean being sincere. Truths are always better accepted when accompanied by respect and a genuine intent to build something more positive for those involved.