Why Do Some Unhappy Couples Stay Together?

For many people, success in love is just as important as success at work or with their family. But it is not easy to find a relationship that works perfectly. That’s why so many unhappy couples settle for a situation that isn’t exactly ideal. That is why they end up staying together even though they have a lot of problems.

In today’s article, we’re going to look at the top reasons why unhappy couples don’t break up, even if they’re just not good together.

Why do unhappy couples stay together?

You probably all know at least one relationship that isn’t working, but they don’t break up anyway. The relationship psychology is still in its infancy, but that does not mean that scientists do research. One of the main things they explore is why exactly unhappy couples stay together.

According to a number of studies  , there are certain common reasons why people hold on to their relationship, even if it is painful. Here they are:

• Reasons outside of the relationship itself.
• For religious reasons.
• A strong commitment to the partner.
• The sunk costs.

We are now going to look at each of these reasons in more detail.

1. Reasons outside of the relationship itself

One of the main reasons unhappy couples report that they don’t break up is that there are external factors holding them back, such as not having money or having children together. Ending the relationship would obviously lead to a lot of suffering from these factors. So the couple decides to stay together, even if it’s bad for them.

Often, however, they trade pain in the present for pain in the future. They just make the pain last much longer. Most couples who stay together for their children end up doing them more harm than good, especially in the long run. That is why it is usually better to find a solution if there are external factors that maintain the relationship, even if this relationship has not been good for a long time.

2. For religious reasons

Another major reason many unhappy couples stay together is their religious affiliation. For example, look at a country where Catholicism is very important. In these countries, divorce costs are much higher than in secular countries.

This has to do with the religious belief that marriage is sacred. They see a divorce as one of the worst things a couple can do. For example, married Catholics would usually rather be unhappy in their relationship than do such a terrible thing (in their minds).

3. A strong commitment to each other

But not all unhappy couples who stay together do it for external reasons such as money or religion. Sometimes the main reason people cling to their extinguished relationships is simply that they have a strong commitment to each other.

One of the most widely accepted theories about how relationships work is Sternberg’s triangular theory of love. The theory says that a big part of any relationship is commitment. It also says that there are two other things you need to have a strong relationship: intimacy and passion.

But there’s still a kind of love based only on commitment, and it’s called empty love . Sometimes that’s all it takes to keep a relationship going. It is strong enough to overcome any of the couple’s problems.

4. The fallacy of the “sunken costs”

One of the most damaging cognitive biases you can fall into is the sunk cost trap. In this case, you have something that you have put a lot of effort and money into and feel the need to hold on to it, even if the relationship is clearly not working. It happens to gamblers – and couples too.

The sunk costs fall can harm you in many different ways. When it comes to relationships, it can push you to fight for a relationship that no longer works. You’re really just doing it because you’ve been together for so long. That may sound nice in theory, but you’ll only end up getting mad at your partner. It will only push you further apart, never bring you closer together.

Try to remember these things if you’re ever tempted to stay in a relationship just because you’ve been together for a while. Sometimes it is better to suffer a little in the short term than to suffer a lot in the long term.