You Are Not Your Experiences, But What You Learn From Them

A great cause of unrest is often this: we identify so much with certain experiences that there comes a time when we don’t know how to distinguish the spectator from the game.

At the same time  , painful experiences are the ones that stand out the most and have the greatest psychological and physical impact on us.

We have to let go of that belief if we want to become the person we want to be. Understand that you are not what happens to you, but the foundation that stores what you experience. You are not what you experience, but what you learn from it.

The explanation lies in the evolution

Man is constantly exposed to danger and the imprint of over-enthusiasm and fear is dormant within our modern minds, even if it is not always noticeable. Therefore ,  from the individual level, we treat the pain as something created to destroy us. This belief makes us weak and avoidant on an individual level and suspicious on a social level.

This morbid cycle does not heal wounds: you have to stop suffering to start flowing and for that you have to clarify two concepts revealed in the recent generation of behavioral therapies:  “You have to distinguish between your I context and your I content.”

The pot and the substances

Imagine a glass jar. It looks strong and consistent, but we know that certain conditions can cause it to fall and break, either by accident or on purpose.

This pot has long occupied an important place in the living room of a house. It has something special. Someone has decided to decorate his lid to make it more attractive and writes the words “jar for everything” on it, after the jam that was originally in it had run out.

Over the years, the residents of the house, the children playing and even the guests have put different things into the pot. They put coins in it and stick notes on the outside. It is used for “cockroach hunting”, it has held matches, wedding gifts, nails, pens, it has been cleaned with bleach, it has gone through the incense, and if someone forgot about it for a while, it accumulated a lot of dirt and dust.

But the pot was always kept on the shelf. If you went to the house and someone asked you what you see when you look at it… what would you answer? Sure, you would clearly state it’s a glass jar.

Now you will wonder what the point of this story is. Well I can tell you this:  it is not a story about a glass jar, but a metaphor for life.

I’ve been through a lot, but there’s one thing that always stays the same: MYSELF

Like the glass jar,  you too have an unchanging and inherent essence. You have experienced disappointment and neglect, you have suffered indifference, betrayal and you have been hurt by the bad intentions of others. Much of this damage remains within you and that is why you have become someone who has become suspicious and even hermit-like.

Very negative things keep adding to who you are inside, but this time no one but you stops it there. You have stored fear, loss of interest, harmful memories and endless tears. If you keep filling that jar, you will really break, so stop filling it with such long-lasting negative things.

Go back to your essence and your true self, realizing that as long as you live, good and bad things will always happen. But you will still be there and the world will recognize you.

Take your experiences by the horns and continue to be yourself

Knowing that  only you are responsible for the path you choose in life  is a great responsibility, but through that responsibility you gain freedom.

So use  everything you have learned to learn and gain life lessons based on your own experiences. Forget some, change some and laugh at the rest. Renew or die.

Go back to being the person who welcomes a diversity of experiences. Or let yourself be immersed in everything that is happening so that your essence touches the positive and you get closer and closer to where you want to go. Get rid of that which is not worth constantly thinking about, because it has nothing to do with you, even if you have experienced it.

That is wisdom, but it is also knowing how to affirm yourself to the world by openly saying that you have faced the good and the bad and are reunited with your essence. Because you have learned that you are not what you experience, but are the essence that welcomes the experiences and also lets them go.